Tag Archives: can you feel the love tonight

Stuff To Do This Week.

Here are some things you can do this week.  They should culminate in a span of time that is worthy of writing home to Mom about and posting silly photos on your social networking profile.  That’s Bebo, right?

Play life-sized Beer Pong.  Everyone loves red cups and ping-pong balls.  But what is that supposed to be, Beer Pong for ants?  We’re grown up now; let’s scale-up and do this right.  Replace keg cups with garbage cans (you can paint them red with a white brim) and ping pong balls with volleyballs.  Put a pony-keg (or regular-sized keg if you have a new haircut and just took Jagerbombs) in each garbage can.  When you make a shot, the opponent whose turn it is to drink takes a keg stand.  Simple as that.  This way you don’t have to refill after each game, which is a bitch because everyone always steals the pitchers anyway.

Note:  If you don’t have a costume for Halloween, you can be a keg cup using one of the spray-painted garbage cans.  It’s like a 2-for-1 deal straight outta Fred Meyer.  Everyone will love you, everyone will get drunk around you, and you will probably get your first HJ in cargo pants since 9th grade.

Watch the Huskies beat the Mediating Irish.  The Huskies are going to win this week.  As bad as they are, I am hoping that because of the diversity of faiths represented on the Husky football team, God will forsake us and shine a ray of light on Husky Stadium.  Notre Dame is no longer the Fighting Irish.  No, not after a string of losing seasons, a sloppy coach with bigger tits than the girl I’m dating (but doesn’t know it yet), and a quarterback who looks exactly like Sunshine from Remember the Titans with long hair and a cross between Smegel and a porcupine with short hair.  These Irish spend less time fighting and more time in dispute resolution with the media, their fan base, and each other.  God Bless.

In the spirit of Bud Light’s “Real Men of Genius,” here’s to you Mr. Delusional Irrational Notre Dame Football Fan.

Jimmy, I am going to give you more shit because you are a real dumb fuck.  I will let pictures speak for themselves.  You would be a good Halloween costume too.  All someone would need is a uniform, because football skills definitely aren’t necessary.

Oh, and here is Jimmy’s MySpace page if you want to look.  He is a Virgo.

jimmy with some dumb ho. (i think that is his mom)

jimmy with some dumb ho. (i think that is his mom)

jimmy looking tough on the 4th of july.

jimmy looking tough on the 4th of july.

jimmy with his excellent trucker hat.

jimmy with his excellent trucker hat.

jimmy auditioning for lord of the rings.

jimmy auditioning for lord of the rings.

jimmy with his buds.

jimmy with his buds.

This last picture doesn’t really surprise me though.  I mean, he was an understudy (no pun intended) of Brady Quinn, the most badassest of them all.

brady sizing up his friend for a new pair of slacks.

brady sizing up his friend for a new pair of slacks.

brady checking for std's (he was clean)

brady checking for std's (he was clean)

Fucking Notre Dame….

“Hate em” – David Chappelle as Clayton Bigsby, White Power, Chappelle’s Show Season 2, 2003

And lastly…..

Drink a bottle of one of the below with a bunch of friends and realize that life is fucking grand.

slurpee

slurpee

gatorade

gatorade

vitamin water

vitamin water

beer

beer

Currently listening to:  Dan Deacon – The Crystal Cat

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Friday Breakfast.

“I apologize to you if I don’t seem real eager to jump into a forced awkward intimate situation that people like to call dating. I don’t like the feeling. You’re sitting there, you’re wondering do I have food on my face, am I eating, am I talking too much, are they talking enough, am I interested I’m not really interested, should I play like I’m interested but I’m not that interested but I think she might be interested but do I want to be interested but now she’s not interested? So all of the sudden I’m getting, I’m starting to get interested… And when am I supposed to kiss her? Do I have to wait for the door cause then it’s awkward, it’s like well goodnight. Do you do like that ass-out hug? Where you like, you hug each other like this and your ass sticks out cause you’re trying not to get too close or do you just go right in and kiss them on the lips or don’t kiss them at all? It’s very difficult trying to read the situation. And all the while you’re just really wondering are we gonna get hopped up enough to make some bad decisions? Perhaps play a little game called “just the tip”. Just for a second, just to see how it feels. Or, ouch, ouch you’re on my hair.”

Whatever happened to this guy? The one in the video who did amazing things.  I would like him to reemerge.

And one of my favorites from back in the day.

Enjoy your Friday; I’ll definitely enjoy mine.

Currently listening to:  Gil Mantera’s Party Dream – Emotion Road

A Bucket List.

Yes, I’m sure everyone has heard of a bucket list. No, I have not seen the major motion picture. Yes, bucket lists can be kind of fun to have and a reminder to experience all that you wish to face in this lifetime. No, I do not have a bucket list because I do not like making lists. Yes, I am about to make one here. No, I am not contradicting myself because this list is general and not specifically for me.

  • Walk down the middle of a city street at noon on a Thursday.
  • Throw a party for your ex-wife/husband/boyfriend/girlfriend/non-human romantic entity.
  • Make a piece of furniture with your bare hands.
  • Attend a Foo Camp.
  • Recreate a scene from Poison Ivy, Basic Instinct, or 9 1/2 Weeks.
  • Take the spine out of a spiral notebook.
  • Perform at an open mic night.
  • Go on vacation by yourself.
  • Go on vacation with a complete stranger. (This stranger might actually be yourself.)
  • Get good, consistent cell phone reception.
  • Learn how to play the ukulele.
  • Read aloud to someone while he/she is driving.
  • Travel through time with only a backpack and a calculator.
  • Go all-in.
  • And finally, service your nucleus accumbens as much, and as often, as possible.

Currently listening to: Rilo Kiley – Silver Lining