Here are some things you can do this week. They should culminate in a span of time that is worthy of writing home to Mom about and posting silly photos on your social networking profile. That’s Bebo, right?
Play life-sized Beer Pong. Everyone loves red cups and ping-pong balls. But what is that supposed to be, Beer Pong for ants? We’re grown up now; let’s scale-up and do this right. Replace keg cups with garbage cans (you can paint them red with a white brim) and ping pong balls with volleyballs. Put a pony-keg (or regular-sized keg if you have a new haircut and just took Jagerbombs) in each garbage can. When you make a shot, the opponent whose turn it is to drink takes a keg stand. Simple as that. This way you don’t have to refill after each game, which is a bitch because everyone always steals the pitchers anyway.
Note: If you don’t have a costume for Halloween, you can be a keg cup using one of the spray-painted garbage cans. It’s like a 2-for-1 deal straight outta Fred Meyer. Everyone will love you, everyone will get drunk around you, and you will probably get your first HJ in cargo pants since 9th grade.
Watch the Huskies beat the Mediating Irish. The Huskies are going to win this week. As bad as they are, I am hoping that because of the diversity of faiths represented on the Husky football team, God will forsake us and shine a ray of light on Husky Stadium. Notre Dame is no longer the Fighting Irish. No, not after a string of losing seasons, a sloppy coach with bigger tits than the girl I’m dating (but doesn’t know it yet), and a quarterback who looks exactly like Sunshine from Remember the Titans with long hair and a cross between Smegel and a porcupine with short hair. These Irish spend less time fighting and more time in dispute resolution with the media, their fan base, and each other. God Bless.
In the spirit of Bud Light’s “Real Men of Genius,” here’s to you Mr. Delusional Irrational Notre Dame Football Fan.
Jimmy, I am going to give you more shit because you are a real dumb fuck. I will let pictures speak for themselves. You would be a good Halloween costume too. All someone would need is a uniform, because football skills definitely aren’t necessary.
Oh, and here is Jimmy’s MySpace page if you want to look. He is a Virgo.
This last picture doesn’t really surprise me though. I mean, he was an understudy (no pun intended) of Brady Quinn, the most badassest of them all.
Fucking Notre Dame….
“Hate em” – David Chappelle as Clayton Bigsby, White Power, Chappelle’s Show Season 2, 2003
Drink a bottle of one of the below with a bunch of friends and realize that life is fucking grand.
Currently listening to: Dan Deacon – The Crystal Cat