Category Archives: music

It’s Music Appreciation Day.

Get ready to waste (enrich) the next 30 minutes of your life watching the below videos.  If I was Korean and 12 years old, I’d also be a fingerstyle guitarist.  Age 12 was also the peak of my lifetime; it’s been all downhill from there.

Here’s to you Sungha Jung – you are incredible.  Except I bet I could beat you at Guitar Hero.

Canon in D

No Woman, No Cry

More Than Words


Currently listening to:  Everything by Sungha Jung


Stuff To Do This Week.

Here are some things you can do this week.  They should culminate in a span of time that is worthy of writing home to Mom about and posting silly photos on your social networking profile.  That’s Bebo, right?

Play life-sized Beer Pong.  Everyone loves red cups and ping-pong balls.  But what is that supposed to be, Beer Pong for ants?  We’re grown up now; let’s scale-up and do this right.  Replace keg cups with garbage cans (you can paint them red with a white brim) and ping pong balls with volleyballs.  Put a pony-keg (or regular-sized keg if you have a new haircut and just took Jagerbombs) in each garbage can.  When you make a shot, the opponent whose turn it is to drink takes a keg stand.  Simple as that.  This way you don’t have to refill after each game, which is a bitch because everyone always steals the pitchers anyway.

Note:  If you don’t have a costume for Halloween, you can be a keg cup using one of the spray-painted garbage cans.  It’s like a 2-for-1 deal straight outta Fred Meyer.  Everyone will love you, everyone will get drunk around you, and you will probably get your first HJ in cargo pants since 9th grade.

Watch the Huskies beat the Mediating Irish.  The Huskies are going to win this week.  As bad as they are, I am hoping that because of the diversity of faiths represented on the Husky football team, God will forsake us and shine a ray of light on Husky Stadium.  Notre Dame is no longer the Fighting Irish.  No, not after a string of losing seasons, a sloppy coach with bigger tits than the girl I’m dating (but doesn’t know it yet), and a quarterback who looks exactly like Sunshine from Remember the Titans with long hair and a cross between Smegel and a porcupine with short hair.  These Irish spend less time fighting and more time in dispute resolution with the media, their fan base, and each other.  God Bless.

In the spirit of Bud Light’s “Real Men of Genius,” here’s to you Mr. Delusional Irrational Notre Dame Football Fan.

Jimmy, I am going to give you more shit because you are a real dumb fuck.  I will let pictures speak for themselves.  You would be a good Halloween costume too.  All someone would need is a uniform, because football skills definitely aren’t necessary.

Oh, and here is Jimmy’s MySpace page if you want to look.  He is a Virgo.

jimmy with some dumb ho. (i think that is his mom)

jimmy with some dumb ho. (i think that is his mom)

jimmy looking tough on the 4th of july.

jimmy looking tough on the 4th of july.

jimmy with his excellent trucker hat.

jimmy with his excellent trucker hat.

jimmy auditioning for lord of the rings.

jimmy auditioning for lord of the rings.

jimmy with his buds.

jimmy with his buds.

This last picture doesn’t really surprise me though.  I mean, he was an understudy (no pun intended) of Brady Quinn, the most badassest of them all.

brady sizing up his friend for a new pair of slacks.

brady sizing up his friend for a new pair of slacks.

brady checking for std's (he was clean)

brady checking for std's (he was clean)

Fucking Notre Dame….

“Hate em” – David Chappelle as Clayton Bigsby, White Power, Chappelle’s Show Season 2, 2003

And lastly…..

Drink a bottle of one of the below with a bunch of friends and realize that life is fucking grand.





vitamin water

vitamin water



Currently listening to:  Dan Deacon – The Crystal Cat

Stunting is Habitual.

While Terrell Owens is spending the week thanking god, I am going to spend the week thanking David Banner.  The David Banner of American rap, record production, record executive, acting, and…… oh you didn’t know…… philanthropic fame.  The David Banner who recorded the song “Play,” the sexually charged anthem of 2005 which received massive airplay on fraternity dance floors between the hours of 12:30-2:00am on any given Tuesday. The David Banner whose real name is Lavell Crump.  David, or Lavell, or whoever you are, I would also take a stage alias if my parents decided to give me a name that sounded like it belonged in the 3rd installment of The Nutty Professor.

Ask yourself:  without David, would you have ever considered if you’d seen a Chevy with the butterfly doors? I don’t think so.  It’s kind of weird that he keeps talking about a Chevy with butterfly doors when he pulls up in the beginning of the video in a blue 360 Spyder.  But who am I to judge, stunting is not yet habitual for me.

So that gets me to the point of this post:  stunting.  Interestingly enough, Urban Dictionary has this definition:

“High class flashing of your jewelry, money riches etc. Made famous by the Cash Money Millionaires. A person who stunts would be a “stunna” usually showing off diamonds, gold, platinum, women, cars and stacks of cash..LARGE BILLS! see “bling bling” for an idea of something a “stunna” would stunt.”

Notice that this definition does not mention stunting as any kind of acquired pattern of behavior that often occurs automatically.  So it seems that David is making a claim as to the extent of his stunting and how he goes about it.

Number one would be with his vehicle.  He sings about it in his songs.  He is a teacher, a nobleman who has extended the philosophy of Pimp My Ride.  And if your vehicle is properly stunting, it encompasses the following things, all according to David in the gospel ballad Get Like Me:

  • “chip in the engine” – Technically, the chip does not go in the engine, it goes in the ECU.  You solder it onto the motherboard and it remaps the fuel and ignition timing.  Not that I know anything about  this kind of stuff.
  • “26 inch rims” – This seems a little outlandish to me.  It’s like being 5’4″, 105 lbs and getting triple-D’s.
  • “old school chevy” – Equals 1985 Caprice.  That is fucking baller, man.
  • “freak on my arm” – I am guessing this is Melyssa Ford.
  • “diamonds on my pinky” – That is sweet.
  • “diamonds in my mouth” – That is not ostentatious at all.
  • “charm around my neck” – That’s CUTE.  Tiffany’s?
  • “Gucci on my seat” – Gucci does not make seat covers.
  • “pistol in my hand” – Pistol?  Is this the fucking Civil War? Where is your Parrott Rifle?
the culmination of the above points results in this. piece. of. shit.

the culmination of the above points result in this. piece. of. shit.

imagine going out to dinner on a saturday and your date has this in his mouth.

imagine going out to dinner on a saturday and your date has this in his mouth.

Now this gets us to the most important part of a vehicle which aims to achieve the status of “stunting”: the vanity license plate.  Everyone can get rims and chips and paint and velour seat covers and dice and bitches and hoes, but license plates provide the blank canvas that any true artist relishes to use as a foundation.  Here are some examples from cars that are definitely stunting.

how did the DMV not catch this...

how did the DMV not catch this...

have you seen that new pirate movie?  it's rated just like your license plate.

have you seen that new pirate movie? it's rated the same as your license plate.

that is lewd.

that is lewd.



now that is a fan.

now that is a fan.

the dude is white!!!!

the dude is white!!!!

this is the greatest thing i've ever seen.

this is the greatest thing i've ever seen.

So now you now how you can make stunting habitual via automobile customization.  I hope you have learned as much as I have.  I would like to thank Tillamook Co., the 1989 Raiders, and the individual who created crocodile-skin shoes.

Always remember….



Currently listening to:  OutKast – ATLiens

Video Killed Girl Talk’s Star.

“Surely one of the most awesome, flagrant, and work-intensive copyright violations we’ve ever seen.”
– New York Magazine

One of my favorite musical creationists in the universe is Girl Talk (known to friends, family, and rabid fans like me as Gregg Gillis). Suffice to say, I was perplexed to see the below videos when I came across them a few months ago.

Seems that a young whippersnapper from Springfield, MO named Chris Beckman (Boy Talk?) has taken Girl Talk’s newest album, Feed The Animals, and is recreating each song….. with music videos. Video mash-ups if you will. For those more spatially inclined, or that have a constant MTV2 feed into your brain, here is your chance to associate the songs with the music videos that Carson Daly presented to you on a daily basis since you were six years old.

What impresses me most are the clips from older videos. Finding those must be a bitch.

Play Your Part (Pt. 1)

Shut the Club Down

Still Here

What Its All About

Like This

In Step

Currently listening to: Tegan & Sara – Walking With a Ghost

The Ruler’s Back. Download his new song. Here.

That bloke from Oasis said I couldn’t play guitar/Somebody should’ve told him I’m a fuckin’ rockstar/Today is gonna be the day that I’m gonna throw it back to you.”

I had my socks blown off this morning.

I heard the new Jay-Z single.

It’s incredible.

Jay-Z is fresh again.

And this is coming from a huge Jay-Z fan who’s been disappointed of late (3 years!!!!) from his recent work.

Jockin’ Jay-Z is the first joint from Blueprint 3, the forthcoming album from Jay-Z. Fresh from a summer of headlining major shows around the world, including the Glastonbury Festival in the UK for which he was ridiculed by Noel Gallagher (Oasis), Hov is back in the studio finishing his next booklet of flow.

Unlike the hodge-podge confection of production variety that was The Black Album and Kingdom Come, this album is produced in majority by Kanye West (with additional support from Timbaland). What results is a combo of producer/MC that synergistically elevates the talents of each party, similar to Dre/Snoop and the like.

This track is the first glimpse into the product of that collaboration. Think one part Reasonable Doubt, one part 99 Problems, one part Wishing on a Star, and one part classic Kanye synth.

If you can sit and listen to this song without succumbing your urge to move, shake, or bob, you deserve a family sized bag of Baked Lay’s because let’s face it, I don’t see how it can be done.

So here’s one to take you through the last weeks of summer. Throw this on in your car, at your prefunk, or on your iPod and enjoy Seattle sun.

Right now, yes, I’m jockin’ Jay-Z.

Download: Jay-Z – Jockin’ Jay-Z (Dope Boy Fresh) feat. Kanye West

no tickey, no laundry.

all your base are belong to us. motherfuckers.

Currently listening to: Jay-Z – Jockin’ Jay-Z (Dope Boy Fresh) feat. Kanye West

Everyone loves a little live music.

Seattle. One of the things I love about Seattle is that there is no shortage of live music. From club shows to music festivals, we’re blessed to have become a destination for artists play.

Below is a choice sampling of shows taking place during the next few weeks. Take off your granny panties and get some.

8/26 – GZA at Neumos

8/30 – 9/1 – Bumbershoot at Seattle Center (Band of Horses, Beck, Nada Surf, PWRFL Power, TI, The Black Keys, Stone Temple Pilots, Jakob Dylan, The Offspring, Death Cab for Cutie, Bedouin Soundclash, Del Tha Funky Homosapien, John Vanderslice, Minus the Bear, Dan Deacon, Flobots, and Sondre Lerche to name a few)

9/5 – Ratatat at Showbox Market

9/6 – TV on the Radio at Showbox SoDo

9/11 – Common Market at Neumos

9/18 – Common and N.E.R.D. at Showbox SoDo

9/19 – Toadies at Showbox Market

9/19 – Living Legends at Neumos

9/26 and 9/27 – Blue Scholars/Hieroglyphics at Showbox Market

9/29 – Cold War Kids at Showbox Market

10/4 – Grand Archives at Neumos

10/8 – Cut Copy at Showbox Market

10/10 – Black Kids, the Virgins, Magic Wands at Neumos

10/11 – Weezer at Key Arena

10/19 – Fleet Foxes at the Moore

10/27 – Fujiya and Miyagi at Chop Suey

10/28 – Crystal Castles at Neumos

10/29 – Lykke Li at Neumos

11/10 – Ingrid Michaelson, Newton Faulkner, David Ford at Neumos

11/19 – Of Montreal at Showbox Market

11/20 – Yeasayer at Neumos

11/26 – The Sea and Cake at Chop Suey

Currently listening to: TV on the Radio – Dry Drunk Emperor