…. is the title of a new article by Stephen A. Smith (click here to read). Yes, that Stephen A. Smith. The one who sucks. As evidenced here, here, here, here, here, and here. There’s even a sucky MySpace page about Stephen A sucking. Which got me to thinking, what are the odds that sucky people with sucky lives will go online (dial-up, obviously because it sucks) and post a sucky article about someone else sucking while simultaneously sitting in their sucky desk chairs which aren’t even real desk chairs because they are those sucky fold-up type chairs from Target, who’s quarterly net income has sucked for the last 6 sucky quarters, and slowly (because they have sucky brains) come to the sucky realization that they suck?
Well, the answer is 10,000-to-1.
And anytime someone gives you 10,000-to-1 odds you take it. If John Mellencamp ever wins an Oscar I’m going to be a very rich man.
In other sportscasting news, Stuart Scott’s left eye is moving to Fox. Read more here.
Image note: Do not conduct a Google image search for “duck getting slaughtered.” I did, and almost puked up my Sausage, Egg, and Cheese breakfast sandwich. The most disturbing picture is of a bunch of bowls filled with duck blood, which look like they’re about to be served up and consumed as if it were miso soup. Therefore, I chose to include a picture of a duck pre-slaughter, pre-West Nile Virus, and pre-Ebola. All of which I hope are contracted by said duck in unison at 7pm this evening.
Currently listening to: Bananarama – Cruel Summer, as it is the background music to the scene in The Karate Kid where Ralph Macchio gets beaten up by the boys soccer team. I love this movie.