Thank you for everything you have done.
Thank you for everything you have done.
Happened at Sasquatch. No analysis or extra words needed. Just watch.
Currently listening to: Natalie Portman’s Shaved Head – Me+Yr Daughter
This is what happens when east coast writers cover west coast sports.
It’s okay, they’re only missing 27 national titles by UW in other team sports.
Currently listening to: N.A.S.A. – Gifted
Get ready to waste (enrich) the next 30 minutes of your life watching the below videos. If I was Korean and 12 years old, I’d also be a fingerstyle guitarist. Age 12 was also the peak of my lifetime; it’s been all downhill from there.
Here’s to you Sungha Jung – you are incredible. Except I bet I could beat you at Guitar Hero.
Canon in D
No Woman, No Cry
More Than Words
Currently listening to: Everything by Sungha Jung
…is the Fast Traxx from Tyco. This monster from 1992, equipped with two Mabuchi 370 motors and the patented TRAXX, could run over the most rugged terrain, trek through 2″ of snow without shedding speed, and could probably solve the current economic meltdown. It was the coolest remote control car ever….. and I never had it. I dreamed about it. I watched the commercials. I started adding “xx” to the end of my name, and I don’t even have any x’s to begin with.
You want to know how sweet this thing is? This guy is willing to trade his whole movie collection for one. This auction for a neon yellow Fast Traxx ended at $185 – TWICE the original retail price. And look at how awesome the commercial is. Yeah I know, you want one too.
Then came the glorious day when I acquired the means to purchase one. Actually, I had the means to buy a “Half Traxx,” the red-headed stepchild of the Fast Traxx. It wasn’t a full-blown Fast Traxx but what did I care? It had the look, it had the attitude, it had the TRAXX. However, little did I know at the bright age of 9 that “Half” meant looming dissatisfaction and a opaque cover on my euphoria. I will use the Fun Quotient, or FQ, which sort of sounds like “fuck you” if you are in Laos, as a metric to illustrate my feelings at the time as I describe the step-by-step process of my fall from grace.
Starting FQ = 0 (neutral)
So there you have it… my experience with my Half Traxx. Never again am I getting a lesser grade of anything.
Currently listening to: The Flaming Lips – The Strange Design of Conscience
Here are some things you can do this week. They should culminate in a span of time that is worthy of writing home to Mom about and posting silly photos on your social networking profile. That’s Bebo, right?
Play life-sized Beer Pong. Everyone loves red cups and ping-pong balls. But what is that supposed to be, Beer Pong for ants? We’re grown up now; let’s scale-up and do this right. Replace keg cups with garbage cans (you can paint them red with a white brim) and ping pong balls with volleyballs. Put a pony-keg (or regular-sized keg if you have a new haircut and just took Jagerbombs) in each garbage can. When you make a shot, the opponent whose turn it is to drink takes a keg stand. Simple as that. This way you don’t have to refill after each game, which is a bitch because everyone always steals the pitchers anyway.
Note: If you don’t have a costume for Halloween, you can be a keg cup using one of the spray-painted garbage cans. It’s like a 2-for-1 deal straight outta Fred Meyer. Everyone will love you, everyone will get drunk around you, and you will probably get your first HJ in cargo pants since 9th grade.
Watch the Huskies beat the Mediating Irish. The Huskies are going to win this week. As bad as they are, I am hoping that because of the diversity of faiths represented on the Husky football team, God will forsake us and shine a ray of light on Husky Stadium. Notre Dame is no longer the Fighting Irish. No, not after a string of losing seasons, a sloppy coach with bigger tits than the girl I’m dating (but doesn’t know it yet), and a quarterback who looks exactly like Sunshine from Remember the Titans with long hair and a cross between Smegel and a porcupine with short hair. These Irish spend less time fighting and more time in dispute resolution with the media, their fan base, and each other. God Bless.
In the spirit of Bud Light’s “Real Men of Genius,” here’s to you Mr. Delusional Irrational Notre Dame Football Fan.
Jimmy, I am going to give you more shit because you are a real dumb fuck. I will let pictures speak for themselves. You would be a good Halloween costume too. All someone would need is a uniform, because football skills definitely aren’t necessary.
Oh, and here is Jimmy’s MySpace page if you want to look. He is a Virgo.
This last picture doesn’t really surprise me though. I mean, he was an understudy (no pun intended) of Brady Quinn, the most badassest of them all.
Fucking Notre Dame….
“Hate em” – David Chappelle as Clayton Bigsby, White Power, Chappelle’s Show Season 2, 2003
Drink a bottle of one of the below with a bunch of friends and realize that life is fucking grand.
Currently listening to: Dan Deacon – The Crystal Cat
“I apologize to you if I don’t seem real eager to jump into a forced awkward intimate situation that people like to call dating. I don’t like the feeling. You’re sitting there, you’re wondering do I have food on my face, am I eating, am I talking too much, are they talking enough, am I interested I’m not really interested, should I play like I’m interested but I’m not that interested but I think she might be interested but do I want to be interested but now she’s not interested? So all of the sudden I’m getting, I’m starting to get interested… And when am I supposed to kiss her? Do I have to wait for the door cause then it’s awkward, it’s like well goodnight. Do you do like that ass-out hug? Where you like, you hug each other like this and your ass sticks out cause you’re trying not to get too close or do you just go right in and kiss them on the lips or don’t kiss them at all? It’s very difficult trying to read the situation. And all the while you’re just really wondering are we gonna get hopped up enough to make some bad decisions? Perhaps play a little game called “just the tip”. Just for a second, just to see how it feels. Or, ouch, ouch you’re on my hair.”
Whatever happened to this guy? The one in the video who did amazing things. I would like him to reemerge.
And one of my favorites from back in the day.
Enjoy your Friday; I’ll definitely enjoy mine.
Currently listening to: Gil Mantera’s Party Dream – Emotion Road